搞笑又污的英语句子

关于搞笑的中式英语句子

关于搞笑的中式英语句子

　　在生活、工作和学*中，大家肯定对各类句子都很熟悉吧，句子的组成部分，包括主语、谓语、宾语、定语、状语、补语六种。句子的类型多样，你所见过的句子是什么样的呢？以下是小编收集整理的搞笑的中式英语句子，希望能够帮助到大家。

　　01．we two who and who？

　　咱俩谁跟谁阿

　　02．how are you ? how old are you?

　　怎么是你，怎么老是你？

　　03．you don`t bird me,I don`t bird you

　　你不鸟我，我也不鸟你

　　04．you have seed I will give you some color to see see,brothers! together up!

　　你有种，我要给你点颜色瞧瞧，兄弟们，一起上！

　　05．hello everybody!if you have something to say,then say!if you have nothing to say,go home!

　　有事起奏，无事退朝

　　06．you me you me

　　彼此彼此

　　07．You Give Me Stop!

　　你给我站住！

　　08．know is know noknow is noknow

　　知之为知之，不知为不知……

　　09．WATCH SISTER

　　表妹

　　10．dragon born dragon,chicken born chicken,mouse'son can make hole!

　　龙生龙，凤生凤，老鼠的.儿子会打洞！

　　11．American Chinese not enough

　　美中不足

　　12．one car come one car go,two car pengpeng,people die

　　车祸现场描述

　　13．heart flower angry open

　　心花怒放

　　14．go past no mistake past

　　走过路过，不要错过

　　15．小明：I am sorry!

　　老外：I am sorry too!

　　小明：I am sorry three!

　　老外：What are you sorry for?

　　小明：I am sorry five!

　　16．If you want money,I have no;

　　if you want life,I have one!

　　要钱没有，要命一条

　　17．I call Li old big.toyear 25.

　　我叫李老大，今年25。

　　18．you have two down son。

　　你有两下子

　　19．as far as you go to die

　　有多远，死多远！

　　20．I give you face you don``t wanna face,you lose you face,I turn my face

　　给你脸你不要脸，你丢脸，我翻脸

　　21.no three no four

　　不三不四

　　22.seven up eight down

　　七上八下

　　1.Know is know,no know is no know,it's know.知之为知之，不知为不知，是知也。

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搞笑英语句子

搞笑英语句子

　　在现实生活或工作学*中，许多人对一些广为流传的句子都不陌生吧，句子是由词或词组构成的语言基本运用单位。句子的类型有很多，你都知道吗？下面是小编为大家整理的搞笑英语句子，欢迎阅读，希望大家能够喜欢。

　　01. 人生的最大遗憾莫过于错误地坚持了不该坚持的，轻易地放弃了不该放弃的……

　　The most regret ion of live is insist on something that shouldn’t be insisted on,give up something that shouldn’t be given up

　　02. 大师兄，你知道吗?二师兄的肉现在比师傅的都贵了。

　　Tang Monk/Tang Priest,don’t you know piggy is more valuable than you? (The Pilgrimage to the West)

　　03. 怀才就像怀孕，时间长了才能看出来。

　　Having knowledge likes having pregnant,it takes times to be awareness.

　　04. 还能冲动，表示你还对生活有激情，总是冲动，表示你还不懂生活。

　　If you acts on impulse,you have passions in life,if you always acts on impulse,you don’t know what life is.

　　05. 我问一个在深圳工作了二十年的朋友：“如果你死后，你的墓志铭打算写点啥?”他说：“我解决了住房问题!”

　　I asked a question to a friend who has been working in Shenzhen for 20 years,what would be the proudest things in your life if you died? He said:I have already pay back the mortgage loan of my department.

　　06. 妈妈说人最好不要错过两样东西，最后一班回家的车和一个深爱你的人。

　　Mom said you’d better not miss two things ,the last bus to home and the person who loves you dee*.

　　07. 一天看到一位大妈在烧纸，边烧边嘟囔着：收到了全都买基金吧。

　　One day I saw a old woman was burning paper money and mumbled:buy funds if you get it.

　　08. 好的爱情是你透过一个男人看到世界，坏的爱情是你为了一个人舍弃世界……

　　A good love is you find the world for a man;a bad love is you abandon the world for a man.

　　09. 诸葛亮出山前，也没带过兵!凭啥我就要工作经验?

　　Before Liang Zhuge coming out,he didnt have experience in leading the army! why i should have experience when look for a job?

　　10. 如果你看到面前的阴影，别怕，那是因为你的背后有阳光……

　　If you saw the dark in front of you,dont be afriad,that's because sunshine is at your back.

　　1.Money is not everything.There‘s Mastercard & Visa.

　　2.One should love animals.They are so tasty.

　　3.Love the neighbor.But don‘t get caught.

　　4.Behind every successful man,there is a woman.And behind every unsuccessful man,there are two.

　　5.Every man should marry.After all,happiness is not the only thing in life.

　　6.The wise never marry,And when they marry they become otherwise.

　　7.Success is a relative term.It brings so many relatives.

　　8.Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.

　　9.Love is photogenic.It needs darkness to develop.

　　10.Children in backseats cause accidents.Accidents in backseats cause children.

　　11."Your future depends on your dreams." So go to sleep.

　　12.There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.

　　13."Hard work never kills anybody." But why take the risk? "

　　14."Work fascinates me." I can look at it for hours! "

　　15.God made relatives;Thank God we can choose our friends.

　　16.When two‘s company,three‘s the result!

　　17.A dress is like a barbed fence.It protects the premises without restricting the view.

　　18.Themore you learn,the more you know,The more you know,the more youforget.The more you forget,the less you know.So why bother to learn.

　　1、 When did you watch television？

　　2、 Robert bought a new bookcase last month.

　　3、 Did you watch the match last night？

　　4、 He arrived the week before last.

　　5、 The train was nine minutes late.

　　6、 Did you wash your hands before the meal？

　　7、 I arrived here one hour ago.

　　8、 You missed the last train.

　　1. Sometimes love is not enough when the road gets tough.

　　有时候，当生活的路越来越艰难时，只有爱就不够了。

　　2. The best kind of feelings in life are the ones you can't explain.

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环境污染的英语句子

1、许多河流，尤其是流经城市的河流，往往很脏。水面上漂移着垃圾，连水里的鱼吃起来都有一股怪味。

Many rivers, especially the river flows through the city, often dirty. A garbage floating on the water, even the fish in the water to eat h*e a strange smell.

2、亚美比亚美索比达*原回馈今人的尽是赤烈熏蒸的漫漫黄沙，谁能遥想这不毛之地竟孕育了灿若星河的两河文明呢？

Asian American than Asian American cable today is plain ratio feedback trinley fumigation sand, who can think this actually g*e birth to gally Canruo Galaxy Mesopotamia?

3、一片绿洲、一方净土、看不到，很多车鸣、很多喧嚣、听得到。

An oasis, a pure land, can not see, countless car sound, countless noisy, heard.

4、影影绰绰的群山像是一个睡意未醒的仙女，披着蝉翼般的薄纱，脉脉含情，凝眸不语。

The shadowy mountains like a sleepy unawakened fairy, wearing a Chanyi gauze, with nothing very much enamored.

5、水面上漂移着垃圾，连水里的鱼吃起来都有一股怪味。这些都是因为河水被污染而造成的。

A garbage floating on the water, even the fish in the water to eat h*e a strange smell. All of these are caused by the pollution of the river.

6、世界上最远的距离不是生与死，而是我在上海街头牵着你的手，却看不见你。

The furthest distance in the world is not between life and death, but when I hold your hand in the streets of Shanghai, but I can't see you.

7、往日小河微波荡漾，是动植物最要好的朋友，今天小河却浑浊不堪，臭气熏天。

Old river microw*e clear, animals and plants are best friends, today is muddy creek, stinking.

8、生态环境也遭受着严峻破坏，大量森林被砍伐，洪涝滑坡等灾难时常发生，水土流失，气候异常等。

The ecological environment has also suffered serious damage, a large number of forests h*e been cut down, floods and landslides and other disasters often occur, soil erosion, climate anomalies and so on.

9、河水污染非常严峻，气味奇臭，沿河有许多小鱼死掉了。循河而上，原来武当屠宰厂有两个排污口，直排污水进入河流。

River water pollution is very serious, the smell of strange smell, along the river there are many small fish died. Along the river, the original Wudang slaughter factory has two sewage outfall, sewage straight into the river.

10、在我的家乡有一条洁净、清亮的小河，它的名字叫做玉带河，可是*几年来玉带河的水越来越黑，并有垃圾，还发出臭味。

There is a clean, clear river in my hometown, it is called the Yudai River, but in recent years the jade river water more and more black, and there is also garbage, stink.

11、造纸厂的废水污染了河，河水变黑发臭，隔岸可闻，鱼自然绝了迹，家乡的河一时成了臭河，成了大地的疬痕。

The pollution of wastewater by the river, black river shore to smell, smell, no trace of natural fish, the river in my hometown has become a smelly river, into the earth scrfofula mark.

12、扬沙满天飞，臭水四处流，我们的地球越来越像一个没人管的脏孩子。

Sand everywhere, smelly water flows everywhere, our earth more and more like a dirty boy nobody.

13、一路走来，我只看到被污染的、墨黑的河水，没有发觉河水里有水草，也很少看到河边有树木。

Along the way, I only see the polluted, black river, found no water in the river, h*e seldom seen trees by the river.

14、沙漠日趋逼*，对*在咫尺的历史名城敦煌来说绝不再高不可攀。

The desert is approaching, close to the historical city of Dunhuang, it is no longer impossible.

15、河水不像以前那样洁净了，上面飘着一些死鱼和一些垃圾。

The water wasn't clean, floating above some dead fish and some ru*ish.

16、原本清亮见底的小河，还能看到成群的鱼儿游来游去，如今只剩浑浊一片。

Originally clear the bottom of the river, but also to see groups of fish swim to swim, and now only a muddy.

17、大河里浊浪滚滚，水面上的垃圾五颜六色，腥臭不堪，随波逐流。

The river Zhuolang rolling on the surface of the garbage rancid, drift riotous with colour.

18、烟雾缭绕中将健康吞噬，吞云吐雾中将肺脏染黑，烟气袅袅中将环境污染，一吸一抽中将疾病唤来。

The smoke will be healthy in black smoke engulfed the lungs, smoke curl in environmental pollution, a disease called a smoke.

19、清初秦-晋地区是高森林覆盖率的葱绿之地，可今天呈现在世人面前的只有那沟壑纵横的贫瘠黄土，千疮百孔伤痕累累。

In the early Qing Dynasty Qin Jin area is high forest coverage rate of green land, can today show in front of the world only the r*ines of barren loess, scarred in a disastrous state.

20、整个市上空都被层层的烟雾笼罩着，人不仅能感遭到天气的闷热，而且熏得人眼都睁不开。

All over the city are the layers of smoke shrouded, people not only feel the hot weather, and make eyes open.

21、贪欲的人类，不知道珍惜自己赖以生息的家园，无休止的过渡开发，使原本茂盛的森林，变成濯濯童山，鸟兽已无栖息之处。

The greedy man, don't know to cherish their home living homes, transition development endless, the dense forest, become bare, and h*e no place to live in.

22、遛狗不见狗，狗绳提在手；见绳不见手，狗叫我才走。

The dog does not see the dog, the dog rope in the hand; see the rope does not see the hand, the dog before I go.

23、布满的毒气、刺耳的噪音、浓厚的灰尘，这让人不堪忍耐，且严峻损害到居住在这的人们的身体健康。

The poisonous gas, harsh noise, thick dust, which makes people unbearable, and seriously damage the health of people living in it.

24、亚洲最大的沙漠水库已干涸见底，民勤岌岌可危。

Asia's largest desert reservoir has been dry, Minqin in jeopardy.

25、现在，由于人们的乱丢乱弃，小河变得臭气熏天。垃圾、草叶漂满了水面，再也没有人在那游泳、嬉戏。

Now, because people littering, the river becomes stink. Garbage, grass full of floating water, no one to * in the swimming.

26、路上、垃圾一大堆，空中、灰尘满天飞。

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雷人搞笑英语笑话

雷人搞笑英语笑话（通用12篇）

　　笑话是指一句短语或一个小故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑，下面是小编收集整理的雷人搞笑英语笑话（通用12篇），希望大家喜欢。

　　At a pre-med university in St. Louis, we had to take a difficult class in physics. One day the professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A student rudely interrupted to ask Why do we have to learn this stuff?

　　To save lives. The professor responded quickly and continued the lecture. A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. So how does physics save lives? he persisted. It usually keeps the idiots like you out of medical school, replied the professor.

　　在圣路易斯的一所医学院预科大学，学生必须修一门很难的物理课。一天，教授正在探讨一个特别复杂的概念，一个学生粗鲁地打断他的话，问道：为什么我们一定要学这种东西?

　　为了救人。教授很快回答，继续讲课。几分钟后，那个学生再次大声坚持：那么物理怎么救人呢?教授回答：它通常可以把你这种笨蛋赶出医学院。

　　Peter joined the army when he was eighteen, and for several months he was taught how to be a good soldier. He did quite well in everything except shooting.

　　One day he and his friends were practicing their shooting, and all of them were doing quite well except Peter. After he had shot at the target nine times and had not hit it once, the officer who was trying to teach the young soldiers to shoot said, You're quite hopeless, Peter! Don't waste your last bullet too! Go behind that wall and shoot yourself with it!

　　Peter felt ashamed. He went behind the wall, and a few seconds later the officer and the other young soldiers heard the sound of a shot.

　　Heavens! The officer said. Has that silly man really shot himself?

　　He ran behind the wall anxiously, but Peter was all right. I'm sorry, sir, he said, but I missed again.

　　彼得十八岁那年参了军，他需要参加几个月的学*以成为一名好士兵。彼得在其他方面都做得很好，但是射击不行。

　　一天他和伙伴们练*射击，除了彼得其他人都没有问题。他射了九次，一次也没有命中目标。这时，教新兵射击的教官说：彼得，你看来是没希望了，不要连最后一发子弹都浪费掉!去那堵墙后面用它向自己打一枪吧。

　　彼得感到非常惭愧。他走到那堵墙后面。几分钟后，教官和新兵们听到一声枪响。

　　上帝!教官叫起来，难道那个笨蛋真的朝自己开枪了?

　　他急忙跑到那堵墙后面，发现彼得安然无恙。对不起，长官，他说，我还是没有命中。

　　A patient said to his doctor, "Doc, please give me something that will stimulate me, excite me, and put me in a, very, very highly stimulated spirit, a fighting, excited spirit."

　　So the doctor said, "Don't worry, take this, and after you see the bill, you will have all these feelings."

　　病人跟医生说：“医生，请给我一些可以振奋、刺激、充满斗志的药。”

　　医生说：“别担心，这个拿去，看到这张帐单以后，你要的这些就都会有了。”

　　Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee.

　　三只乌龟决定去喝咖啡。

　　Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain.

　　它们刚到咖啡店的门口，就下起雨来。

　　The biggest turtle said to the smallest one, " Go home and get the umbrella."

　　于是最大的`那只乌龟对最小的乌龟说，“你回家去取伞吧。”

　　The little turtle replied, "I will, if you don't drink my offee."

　　最小的乌龟说，“如果你们不把我的咖啡喝了，我就去。”

　　"We won't," the other two promised.

　　“我们不喝，”另外两只乌龟答应说。

　　Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle, "Well, I guess he isn't coming back, so we might as well drink his coffee."

　　两年后，大乌龟对中乌龟说，“好吧，我猜他肯定不回来了，我们可以把它的咖啡喝掉了。”

　　Just then a voice called from outside the door, "If you do, I won't go."

　　正在这时，一个声音从门外传来，“你们要是喝了，我就不去。”

　　The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

　　"Why use my elbow and foot?"

　　"Well, gosh," was the re*, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"

　　一个声名狼藉的小气鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了后，再用你的脚把门推开。”

　　“为什么我要用我的肘和脚呢?”

　　“天哪!” 吝啬鬼回答，“你总不会空着手来吧?”

　　"So you want another day off,”snorted the teacher to his student，Tom.“I am anxious to hear what excuse you have this time. You have been off for your grandfather's funeral four times already.”

　　“这么说，你又要请一天假，”老师怒气冲冲地对他的学生汤姆说，“我倒想知道你这次找什么借口。你已经请了四次假说去参加你爷爷的葬礼。”

　　Tom replied，"Today my grandma is getting married again.”

　　汤姆回答说:“今天是我奶奶再次举行婚礼。”

　　Midway Tactics

　　Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.

　　The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"

　　The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"

　　The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that sim* stated, "ENTRANCE".

　　中间战术

　　三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。

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*式英语搞笑短语

*式英语搞笑短语

　　笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象，具有讽刺性和娱乐性。为帮助大家在轻松愉快的氛围中掌握英语基础知识，以下是小编精心整理的*式英语搞笑短语，欢迎阅读，希望大家能够喜欢。

　　.都十点钟了。起床了，懒虫!

　　[误] It's ten o'clock. Get up, lazy worm!

　　[正] It's ten o'clock. Get up, lazy bones!

　　注：“懒虫”并非真是一条虫，只不过被用来形容人很懒惰罢了。英语里与之对应的说法是 lazy bones(懒骨头)。注意，这里的 bone 应以复数形式出现，也许是因为不会只有一根骨头懒吧!

　　.我唯一的资本就是勤奋。

　　[误] My only capital is diligence。

　　[正] My only means to success is diligence。

　　注：原文的“资本”是借喻，实际指“可以依靠并取得成功的手段”。而英语的 capital 指 money used to produce more wealth or for starting a business，并没有中文那样的`引申意思。所以，这里的“资本”不能与 capital 画等号。也有人用 advantage 来翻译“资本”，虽然不尽意，但至少可以让读者理解。

　　.这家商店开辟了休息处，受到顾客的称赞。

　　[误] This department store has set up a resting-place, much to the customers' appreciation。

　　[正] This department store has set up a lounge, much to the customers' appreciation。

　　注：英语的 resting-place 虽然有“休息处”的意思，但更经常的是用来指“坟墓”，即“最后安息之处”。因此，把公共场所的“休息处”译为 resting-place 不很合适。也有人将它译为 rest-room，但那更不妥当，因为英语中的 rest-room 是“厕所”的委婉说法，而“休息处”不是这个意思。

　　.大家都怀疑汤姆是个间谍。

　　[误] Everyone doubts that Tom is a spy。

　　[正] Everyone suspects that Tom is a spy。

　　注：doubt 作“怀疑”讲，是“不相信”的意思;而 suspect 作“怀疑”讲，是指“对.。.有所察觉”。第一句译文犯了两个错误：首先，doubt 不能接 that 从句，只有not doubt that 和 doubt if/whether;其次，它所表达的意思是“大家对汤姆是间谍这件事表示怀疑”，即“大家不相信汤姆是间谍”，与原文的意思恰好相反。

　　. 我们俩关系最好，他经常来我这儿蹲饭吃。

　　[误] We are best friends. He always comes here to have meals for free。

　　[正] We are best friends. He always comes here to bum meals off me。

　　注：第一句只表明“他常到我这儿来白吃白喝”，但朋友这间那种亲密关系没有体现出来。而 bum sth. off sb. 指向非常熟的朋友要一些不起眼的小东西，而朋友也不会介意还不还

　　1 ：我的优点是：我很帅；但是我的缺点是：我帅的不明显。 My advantage is that I am handsome, but my disadvantage is that the handsomeness is not so obvious。

　　2 ：谈钱不伤感情，谈感情最他妈伤钱。 It does not hurt feelings, when it comes to money, but it indeed * cost rf online disena money when it comes to feelings。

　　3 ：我诅咒你一辈子买方便面没有调料包。 I curse your buying instant noodles without getting flavoring cheap RF Online dalant bags。

　　4 ：会计说：“你晚点来领工资吧，我这没零钱。” The accountant said : “Could you please come for your earnings later, because I have no change here?”

　　5 ：虽然你身上喷了古龙水，但我还是能隐约闻到一股味儿。 Although you wear some RF online cp cologne, I can still vaguely smell a scummy whiff out of you。

　　6 ：有一次我上街，一群女孩把我拦住，她们说我帅，我不承认，她们就打我，还说我虚伪。 When I went shopping one day, a group of girls stopped me, saying that I was handsome .But I denied it, and then RF Online dalant they hit me and said I am hypocritical。

　　7 ：冲杯三鹿给党喝。 Pour boiling water into a cup of Sanlu milk powder, and give it to buy RF Online dalant the political party。

　　8 ：史上最神秘的部门：有关部门。 The most mysterious department in the history is the department concerned。

　　9 ：我这辈子只有两件事不会：这也不会，那也不会。 There are two cheap RF online cp things that I could not do in my life –I could not do this and I could not do that。

　　10：人家有的是背景，而我有的是背影。 The others have their background, while what I have is the sight of my rf online cp back。

　　11：别把虾米不当海鲜。 Never treat a dried shrimp not as seafood。

　　12：我是天使，回不去天堂是因为体重的原因。 I am an angel, and the rf online dalant reason why I can not go back to heaven is the problem of my weight。

　　13：骗子太多，傻子明显不够用了。 Since there are so many rf online disena deceivers, it is very obvious that idiots are not enough。

　　14：你的手机比话费还便宜。 Your phone is much cheaper than the phone words fee。

　　15：不怕偷儿带工具，就怕偷儿懂科技！ We never be afraid t

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搞笑英语格言

搞笑英语格言（精选105句）

　　格言，是指可以作为人们行为规范的言简意赅的语句，是人们机智的精华，众人汇成的睿智，是指导人生走向成功之路的法宝，时刻激励人生取得进步。下面是小编收集整理的搞笑英语格言，希望大家喜欢

　　1、The more you learn,the more you know, The more you know, themoreyou forget. The more you forget, the leyou know. So why botherto learn?

　　学的越多，知道的越多；知道的越多，忘记的越多；忘记的越多，知道的越少，为什么学来着？

　　2、One should love animals. They are so tasty.

　　每个人都应该热爱动物，因为它们很好吃。

　　3、God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends.

　　上帝决定了谁是你的亲戚，幸运的是在选择朋友方面他给你留了余地。

　　4、love alone could waken love!

　　只有爱才能唤醒爱!

　　5、If I could rearrange the alphabet, Id put U and I together.

　　如果我可以重排字母表，我会把你和我放在一起。

　　7、Man: Have we met somewhere before?

　　我们之前在哪个地方见过吧？

　　8、Love is photogenic. It needs darkneto develop.

　　爱情就像照片，需要大量的暗房时间来培养。

　　9、″Hard work never killed anybody."?But why take the risk?

　　“努力工作不会导致死亡！”不过我不会用自己去证明。

　　10、Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behindeveryunsuccessful man, there are two.

　　每个成功男人的背后，都有一个女人；每个不成功男人的背后，都有两个。

　　1、humor, can saying is give people a subtle sense of dispensing the spice of life. For some light humor, can make the atmosphere of the time to change, make the stalled suddenly solve unsolved. - Masayoshi Ohira

　　幽默：可以说是能给人以微妙感的调剂生活的佐料。由于某种轻巧的幽默，就可以使当时的气氛为之改观，使陷于僵局的悬案豁然解决。——日·大*正芳

　　2、the sense of humour is a sense. Li, Ji Bolun

　　幽默感就是分寸感。——黎·纪泊伦

　　3、the humor and wit is the flash of wisdom. -- Indira Shakespeare

　　幽默和风趣是智慧的闪现。——英·莎士比亚

　　4、the humor comes from wisdom, verbal abuse from incompetence. - pine forest

　　幽默来自智慧，恶语来自无能。——松林

　　5、humor is that workers have confidence in their own career and show the advantage of the signs of their own. -- Engels

　　幽默是表明工人对自己事业具有信心并且表明自己占着优势的标志。——*

　　6、humor is not willing to institutional absurdity. - Usher

　　幽默是不肯正经其事的荒谬感。——厄谢尔

　　7、humor is so gorgeous costumes, is how loyal guard! It is always better than the poet and writer's wisdom; it is itself a talent, it can eliminate ignorance. -- Scott

　　幽默是多么艳丽的服饰，又是何等忠诚的卫士!它永远胜过诗人和作家的智慧;它本身就是才华，它能杜绝愚昧。——司各特

　　8、 humor is the wisdom, moral education and the excellent performance of. -- de Engels

　　幽默是具有智慧、教育和道德上优越的表现。——德·*

　　9、humor is the nature of man, it might change one of the atmosphere, but can not change the life of pain. -- Guo Chen

　　幽默是人的本性，它或许可以改变一时的气氛，却改变不了一生的痛苦。——郭辰

　　10、humor is the life waves buoy. -- spreading

　　幽默是生活波涛中的救生圈。——拉布

　　11、humor is all the light of wisdom, shining in the middle of the ancient and modern philosophers spirituality. Where the quality of humor, are smart perspicacious. They will solve all the difficult problems with the humorous wrist, and every kind of things arranged to take it leisurely and unoppressively, be just perfect. -- Qian Renkang

　　幽默是一切智慧的光芒，照耀在古今哲人的灵性中间。凡有幽默的素养者，都是聪敏颖悟的。他们会用幽默手腕解决一切困难问题，而把每一种事态安排得从容不迫，恰到好处。——钱仁康

　　12、humor is a beautiful, healthy quality. May you make up your own humor. Lenin -- the former Soviet Union

　　幽默是一种优美的、健康的品质。愿你让自己幽默起来。——前苏联·列宁

　　13、humor and serious mutual inspection stone, because is not willing to accept the good jokes, which have doubts, but could not resist to joke must also be wisdom. -- Gaulke Asia

　　幽默与严肃互为验石，因为不愿接受善意的玩笑，其中必有疑处，而经不住审度的玩笑也一定是智慧。——高尔克亚

　　14、there are many real word of in joke. -- Swift

　　有许多真实的话都是在笑话中讲出来的。——斯威夫特

　　15、The joke to deal with the enemy, is a natural good tactics, but the contact point, must be the opponent's fatal injury, otherwise, the end is nothing but a joke just kidding. -- Lu Xun

　　用玩笑来应付敌人，自然也是一种好战法，但触着之处，须是对手的致命伤，否则，玩笑终不过是一种单单的玩笑而已。——鲁迅

　　16、a truly humorous people don't have understanding, readily only laugh, smile for cold, dreary life breath. -- Qian Zhongshu

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史上最强最搞笑的*式英语笑话

史上最强最搞笑的*式英语笑话

　　英语小笑话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁,是一种重要的交际手段。下面是小编帮大家整理的史上最强最搞笑的*式英语笑话作文，欢迎阅读与收藏。

　　1.we two who and who?

　　咱俩谁跟谁阿

　　2. how are you ? how old are you?

　　怎么是你，怎么老是你?

　　3. you don't bird me,I don't bird you

　　你不鸟我，我也不鸟你

　　4. you have seed I will give you some color to see see, brothers !together

　　你有种，我要给你点颜色瞧瞧，兄弟们，一起上!

　　5. hello everybody!if you have something to say,then say!if you have

　　nothing to say,go home!!

　　有事起奏，无事退朝

　　6.what is IMU3.0? it is a kind of chat tool!

　　什么是IMU3.0?IMU3.0 是一种聊天工具!

　　7. You Give Me Stop!!

　　你给我站住!

　　8. know is know noknow is noknow

　　知之为知之，不知为不知…

　　9. WATCH SISTER

　　表妹

　　10. American Chinese not enough

　　美中不足

　　11. heart flower angry open

　　心花怒放

　　12. go past no mistake past

　　走过路过，不要错过

　　13. 小明：I am sorry!

　　老外：I am sorry too!

　　小明：I am sorry three!

　　老外：What are you sorry for?

　　小明：I am sorry five!

　　14. If you want money,I have no;if you want life,I have one!

　　要钱没有，要命一条

　　15. I call Li old big. toyear 25.

　　我叫李老大，今年25。

　　16. you have two down son。

　　你有两下子。

　　17. as far as you go to die

　　有多远，死多远!!!!

　　18. I give you face you don''t wanna face,you lose you face ,I turn my face.

　　给你脸你不要脸，你丢脸，我翻脸

　　A PresentKate: Mom, do you know what I"m going to give you for your birthday?

　　Mom: No, Honey, what?

　　Kate: A nice teapot.

　　Mom: But I"ve got a nice teapot.

　　Kate: No, you haven"t. I"ve just dropped it.

　　凯特的礼物

　　凯特：妈妈，你知道我要给你一件什么生日礼物吗？

　　妈妈：不知道，宝贝，是什么呀？

　　凯特：一把漂亮的茶壶。

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关于微笑的英语句子汇总

　　1、A smile is the language has multiple meanings.微笑乃是具有多重意义的语言。

　　2、Better by far you should forget and smile than that you should remember and be sad.与其伤心回忆，不如微笑遗忘。

　　3、Don’t go for looks;they can deceive. Don’t go for wealth; even that fades away. Find the one that makes your heart smile. 不要只追求漂亮的外表，它会欺骗你的眼睛；不要只追求财富，那只不过是过眼云烟；追寻那个让你内心微笑的人。

　　4、I smile, continue to pride.我用微笑，继续骄傲。

　　5、Life is a mirror.When you smile in front of it ,it will also smile and so will it when you cry to it.生活是一面镜子，你对它笑，它也会对你笑；你对它哭，它也会对你哭。

　　6、Life is faced with a true smile, is watching over the obstacles in the future.生活就是面对真实的微笑，就是越过障碍注视将来。

　　7、Life, is a colorful picture, the smile is a beautiful color.生活，是一幅多彩的图画，微笑是画中一抹亮丽的色彩。

　　8、Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, ends with a tear.爱情是以微笑开始，以吻生长，以泪结束。

　　9、Sunshine and flowers in the philosophical smile, the sad and painful sigh in the pessimistic.阳光和鲜花在达观的微笑里，凄凉与痛苦在悲观的叹息中。

　　10、The face of light, shadow just behind us.面对光明，阴影就在我们身后。

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经典搞笑污段子

　　1、晚上，老王约了个MM，两人到了宾馆，一顿piapiapia，完事后老王点了根烟惬意的看电视，突然身边的妹子问老王：“怎么你们男人完事后都喜欢抽烟”?

　　老王脱口而出来了句：“*惯了”

　　两人互相对视了一眼，竟然都TM笑了!?

　　2、郭小四写的信才应该叫微信;能看见郭小四的眼镜才应该叫显微镜;郭小四的笑才是真正的微笑，郭小四看见性感美女那才是真正的微博。。。

　　3、问：“雨夹雪，雪会疼吗?雷震雨，雨会痛吗?”

　　答：“当然不会，它们只会爽!!!”

　　。。。我现在已经无法直视天气预报了。

　　4、玫瑰花妹妹闷闷不乐的揪着自己的花瓣，“在一起，不在一起，在一起。。。”

　　朋友问她怎么了，她捧着脸嘟着嘴说：“我好喜欢昙花哥哥啊，可是。。。可是他，好像有点早谢诶!”

　　5、一大龄剩女的签名：对于我这个年纪的小龙女来说，谁当杨过已经不重要，重要的是谁当尹志*。

　　6、以前酒店开房看到熟人，彼此都不好意思打招呼，现在好了，见面打招呼就说：你家水管也冻了?

　　7、女：啊……啊……啊，轻点亲爱的，啊……啊……啊，插得太深了!

　　男：不就掏个耳朵吗?*个什么啊!!!

　　8、我最佩服三种人：1、看完一部*坚持不撸的人; 2、撸完还坚持看完一部*的人; 3、看完一部*还没撸出来的人。

　　9、*是最污的，你想想狼是怎么叫的：“我～污～”

　　10、以前都说“小肚鸡长”的男人千万要不得，现在这“小肚、鸡长”的男人都是个宝。。。

　　11、理想很丰满，现实很骨感。那为毛现实的女孩子却往往长得很丰满呢?

　　12、早上去跑步，遇到一个大胸美女也在跑步，于是调侃的说：“美女，跑起来一颤一颤的舒服吗?”

　　美女白了我一眼说：“你跑起来一甩一甩的疼吗?”

　　*，我竟无言以对～

　　13、一月三十一日，实在不堪忍受，找了个理由跟女友吵架，睡几天沙发补补肾。

　　14、两男子在河边玩，看见一美女掉进河里。

　　一男子马上要去救，另一男子拉住他：“等一会，现在救不能做人工呼吸。”

　　15、师妹面色惨白，慌慌张张地跑来找我问道：“师兄!中了合欢散是不是必须要和男人上床才能解毒?”

　　我一听这话立马一边脱裤子一边说：“是啊师妹，快点吧，事不宜迟!”

　　师妹拉着我的手高兴地说：“太好啦，快跟我走，师傅刚才中了，现在这附*就你一个男人!”

　　16、唐僧：悟空，你变成TT吧，今天为师要亲自收拾这个女妖精。

　　唐僧：悟空，你变成伟哥吧，今天为师收拾这个女妖精。

　　唐僧：今天好无聊。悟空，你变成女妖精吧!

　　唐僧：悟空，为师已经厌倦这种生活了，你把我变成女妖精吧!

　　唐僧：悟空，你今天变成为师吧!

　　唐僧：悟空，你今天不用变了。

　　17、张姐约李姐下班后去扫年货!

　　李姐问：“你老公不是出差一个月刚刚回来吗?你晚上不陪他?”

　　张姐笑嘻嘻的唱了起来：“天空飘来五个字!那都不是事儿，是事儿也就那一会儿，一会儿就完事!”

　　18、收到一条诈骗短信：“这是你老婆偷偷跟人开房的视频，请点开下面的链接!”

　　我一看就哭了，感动的回过去：“哥们，单身这么久，只有你一个人说我有老婆”。

　　不一会那边回复了，而且说的还很有道理的样子：你还是看看吧，说不定是你以后的老婆呢。。。

　　19、和女朋友去西餐厅浪漫一下，吃饭间突然她放了一个屁，虽然不大但是周围的人肯定听见了。

　　我心想这脸丢大了看她怎么收场，谁知道她一脸哀怨的说“都怪你昨晚太用力了，你看吧，我现在都漏气了。”

　　20、男：我喜欢你!

　　女：我也喜欢你很久!

　　男：有多久?

　　女：至少二三十分钟吧。。。

　　21、爸妈成天说我“成天看动画片，跟小孩似的”

　　我一般都反驳说“动画片和动漫不一样，前者就像小男孩去女澡堂子，都看了却没有什么意义;后者就像老男人看美女，看着表面*静实际却都脑补完了。”

　　22、喜欢玩的叫贪玩，喜欢喝酒的叫贪杯，所以像你们这样喜欢各种小*荤段子腐文*约炮的应该叫贪污。

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搞笑语句 让人一看就笑的句子

如果你不想开心,没有人能让你开心。 所以要自己保持乐观开朗,好奇的心态。这样看见生活中什么新奇的东西都会被逗笑。下面是小编为大家整理的搞笑语句 让人一看就笑的句子，希望大家喜欢

1、你肺活量是多少啊，能把牛逼吹得这么大。

2、你知道城市套路深却不知道农村路更滑，人心更复杂。

3、谢谢那些曾经击倒我的人，躺着真的很舒服。

4、小时候画了一张一百块钱去买小汽车，老板说我的钱是假的，废话，当然是假的了，你的小汽车也不是真的啊。

5、自从见到你妹，你这兄弟我交定了。

6、和我喜欢的人聊天就像对上帝说话，你说是说，他们从不回应。

7、明人不说暗话，我喜欢你。

8、自从初一那次捡起掉在地下的笔后，数学我就再也没听懂过。

9、车到山前必有路，有路我也刹不住。

10、空有一颗学*的心，偏偏生了一条挂科的命。

11、在感情的道路上你总是走走停停，你是不是腿脚不利索啊。

12、她们*惯在你背后指桑骂槐，那是因为她们没有与你当面对峙的资本。你是赢家，别怕。

13、收银员说：没零钱了，找你两个塑料袋吧。

14、我深信，会有一个男人是为受我的折磨而来到这世上的。

15、自恋不是罪，迷恋哥的请后面排队。

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